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Literature Text
Razor blades, scissors
Swiss army knives, kitchen blades
Silver blades of steel
Blood drips gently down
Off of silver surfaces
Onto bathroom sink
My skin opens up
Blood runs down my thin pale arm
Thin scratches leak blood
Arm sliced to ribbons
Cuts will soon heal up quickly
But scars won't be gone
My scars pester me
They remind me of the past
Tell me of my sins
Swiss army knives, kitchen blades
Silver blades of steel
Blood drips gently down
Off of silver surfaces
Onto bathroom sink
My skin opens up
Blood runs down my thin pale arm
Thin scratches leak blood
Arm sliced to ribbons
Cuts will soon heal up quickly
But scars won't be gone
My scars pester me
They remind me of the past
Tell me of my sins
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a series of haikus
tell me what u think!! i like criticism and critiques!
tell me what u think!! i like criticism and critiques!
© 2010 - 2024 ShaliMahon
Comments12
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Overall Vision Originality Technique ImpactThis is... well, let us start with the word "dark" and move on from there, shall we? lol
Its definitely beautifully patterned. Your ability to write so many haiku, and consecutively! That by itself is terribly impressive <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="15" height="15" alt="
" title=" (Smile)"/>I've seen many poems in this style and I have to say this is by far one of my favorites <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="15" height="15" alt="
" title=" (Smile)"/>"originality" is a vague word, but I would say in this case the 3.5 stars is due to the fact this has probably been done before which isn't your fault but whatever lol
I love you vision and technique, but that being said, I didn't receive a strong impact. It's beautifully written, but this sort of subject matter is something my brain doesn't handle very well