literature

I Cried A River

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ShaliMahon's avatar
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Published:
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Literature Text

I cried a river
I could not breathe

I cried a river
I fell into an unwakeable sleep

I cried a river
My heart stopped

I cried a river
My head's gunna pop

I cried a river
The tears covered the ground

I cried a river
I'm gunna drown

I cried a river
I think i'm done

I cried a river
My life is gone
i think this sucks
tell me what you think though (tell the truth)
i need some feedback
i think i need to edit it and maybe add more to it
© 2009 - 2024 ShaliMahon
Comments14
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CosplayerLaseatia's avatar
I think you could have added to it, made the stanzas larger, the first line of each stanza would work better that way if there is more after each line. BUT it is your poem and if you want it to remain exactly as it is, then by my guest, I am only offering a mere suggestion.